1. "writingsforwinter:
    Tonight I picture my body as something burning, a funeral pyre
    for every time I opened my mouth to ask a question
    but ended up apologizing instead.
    My mother’s laugh lines have slowly evolved into frown lines
    the same way natural selection taught me to open my legs
    whenever someone turns the lights off in the basement.
    Every time my mother brought another man home to bed
    he left another relic behind: a single knit sock, half a rotting pear,
    once even a jar of rain from some long-ago thunderstorm,
    until the entire living room was filled.
    The day they found her, she was buried under a mountain
    of all her one-night stands, the soft curve of her body
    shaped the same way it was every time another man convinced her
    to kiss him while under the influence.
    Even now, I live in a room with next to no furniture.
    I throw away whatever I don’t need.
    I don’t want to die buried beneath a pile of something that isn’t love,
    but more like desperation mixed with alcohol.
    And each time I hear a man’s voice float down the alley behind me,
    I feel the slow weight of grief pressing down on my chest
    and I understand for just the briefest of seconds
    what my mother felt during the last of hers."

  2. the words in my poems

    talk back to me

    none of them 

    know what to do

    when I am in 



  3. I am

    sometimes I feel broken
    sometimes I know I am broken
    sometimes I break my own heart
    and others
    sometimes I wonder if I gave myself this sickness
    was predisposed for it
    like sugar and cancer
    like poison and wine
    sometimes I am free and whole
    sometimes I am all of it to one person
    I have to be loved
    in consideration that it’s all wrong
    that sometimes nothing is right
    that I am a monster
    and the only person that can make you this


  4. I can see what’s happening…


    The patterns are in front of me
    Can you see what’s happening?
    The patterns could be holding me…

  5. Understand


    This is IT.

    (Source: shaniroti, via rachillionaire)


  6. Find someone who understands your silence.


    (Source: anonimouspoet, via rachillionaire)


  7. "No one’s going to create an environment for your growth. You have to do that yourself. The older you get the less help you get. So don’t wait. Don’t rely. Have rational faith in yourself and build the place that lets you grow. Anyone who gives you static can kiss off. Why are they so hostile anyway?"

    Dig Yourself (via howitzerliterarysociety)

    Get into this. - Viv


  8. I just wrote like I was in a crowd

    and someone started running

    and I didn’t know what we were afraid of

    but it was better than nothing

    I was afraid I was dying/dead

    depression is a bitch

    I am, in fact, alive

    and that bitch just gone have to 

    face it


  9. reminder-love and fear

    it has been a while since I posted but I want you to know I am still writing a little something all the time. I’m working on a love offering to everyone with my best friend and it is coming soon (summer).

    Recently I got the opportunity to test my own theories about love and fear. First, on love, I got to meet up with my bae-thang ravey and share some fun. We met on the innanetz but we been thick as thieves, and most importantly she made her presence felt when I was dying. I believe deeply that physical proximity has little to do with the awareness you can have/make with another person, a person that may love you in the ways that you desire. I believe this especially in friendship because I have met many. Some of whom I will never know their names or speak to again, but friends who extended some type of love to me in a critical moment. 

    Now, on fear. Recently someone that doesn’t deserve a mention tried to put me in a place of fear. Tried to control my actions by threatening to expose private things about me because I was not giving him the attention he felt he deserved. This is amazing because I thought I’ve said the following a million times in the last year but it bears repeating:

    The god I serve does not allow me to live in or take action from a place of fear. I paid it all, and I will live joyously because of it. I cannot be bought, misconstrued, perverted, or threatened by anything other than the god light that is in me, and the goodness that is in others. That is all my soul responds to. Whatever else happens, is a result of the universe conspiring in my favor. Always.

    I encourage us all to run and tell dat.

    I love you all dearly and hope life isn’t beating you up too bad.




  10. if you need another body roll tonight (intro to ‘I’m So Into You’)

    (Source: Spotify)